A Little More Magic

So I’m still working on creating my own Magic cards. And here I’m going to present some of them.


Every set tends to include multilands of some sort, but I don’t think they’ve ever made a multiland that combines three different lands, It’s a swamp, an island, and a forest!

Uncut Mox Gems

I’ve also decided to try “fixing” some old and broken cards. Make a mox that deals damage. That fixes it, right?

Blossom of the Lotus

Let’s fix the Black Lotus the same way.

Recall Your Ancestry

While we’re at it, let’s give Ancestral Recall the same treatment.

Armour of Decay

Of course I had to make some average run of the mill cards too.

Hellish Tutor

It’s a tutor. Tutors are always cool.

Deaths Victory

Black was always my favorite.

Decaying Sanity

But blue is a close second.

Reset Button

Every good set needs a reset button.

Basking Lizard

You know what? They’ve never brought back flanking. I think we should do that.

Unique Lesson

Beehemoth Gorilla

Forgotten Farmer

Death Note

Mausoleum Entryway

Ghost of Autumn Willow


Springfield is a Magical Place

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon

So I’m still playing with making my own Magic cards and I thought, what could be a richer source for cards than the world of The Simpsons? Here we see Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, the first Springfield card i made. He gives out Salmonella counters, but only to Bart, Homer, and Milhouse. No one else would eat from the Quick E Mart, after all.

Charles Montgomery Burns

Mr. Burns is also deserving of a card. Black seemed like the perfect color for him, but he’s frail and old, so he’s a 1/1. Still, he should probably have other abilities…

C. M. Burns

I know! Make him a planeswalker! Come on, how fun would it be to say “release the hounds” while rubbing your hands together?

Homer Simpson5

Krusty the Clown

Marge Simpson


Making More Magic

So I guess its been a week or so since I wrote about Magic here, To answer those burning questions that I’m sure you have, yes I’m playing, mostly online and yes I still suck at it. I’ve also decided to try my hand at making some cards again, just for the fun of it. While many of my recent attempts are really just new versions of old cards (Mox Gemstones, anyone?), a number of them are, I think, rather inventive. How about a series of Knights, one of each color?

Alabaster Warrior

Of course the White one has protection from Black… and vice versa.

Ebony Warrior

Notice they all have a similar casting cost too.

Emerald Warrior

They all have protection from an enemy color… except the blue one. He gets protection from two enemies. Just because.

Sapphire Warrior

Ruby Warrior

It’s just so much fun making these cards! I know they’ll never see print, but its still a lot of fun to make them. So… why not try to “fix” a card like Balance?

Tip the Scales

Okay… maybe it’s still pretty broken. It was still fun to make.

Slender Man

FNM… I Swear it’s a Thing

Okay, so… I did it. I went to a local Friday Night Magic event. I haven’t actually played Magic with another live person right in front of me in easily over ten years. I forgot just how much fun it could be! Of course I didn’t have a deck, but I picked up some cards for one and entered a booster draft and… I got my butt kicked pretty good. I had a blast doing it though.

I really don’t want to talk about the overall experience though. I’ve already promised myself that I’m not going to get smothered by Magic again. I won’t find myself at this place every week, sometimes twice a week like I did back in the day. What I want to talk about is the deck I’m working on. I call it The Life Engine and why will be pretty obvious pretty fast.


3 x Pyramid of the Pantheon

You remember what I wrote about this little mana maker in the past, right? Look at that second, Black Lotus-ish ability. Now imagine tapping for those three mana several times in a single turn. Oh, it’s very possible.

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4 x Engulf the Shore

This deck, like so many of mine runs no creatures and a lot of islands. It usually means Hasta LaVista, baby to most of my opponent’s threats.

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4 x Commencement of Festivities

When I first started putting this deck together, I did it without any Forests and with only Pyramid of the Pantheon for the tiny bit of green mana I was running. That didn’t work at all. This deck needs Fog effects. So, here’s some.

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3 x Take Inventory

Card drawing is key. Sometimes picking up one (or two or three) extra card(s) makes all the difference in the world.

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4 x Haze of Pollen

Remember what I was saying about Fog effects? For added safety here’s four more. And in a pinch, it cycles!

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3 x Drag Under

You don’t need a spell like Engulf the Shore when you’re just facing one annoying little bugger. This one will do the same thing for one creature (and for one less mana) and give you a card too. Nice!

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2 x Aetherflux Reservior

The vital, game winning card. Sure, getting to 50 life seems like an impossible task, but it’s not at all once this deck gets going, trust me.

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3 x Luxa River Shrine

We’re trying to get over 50 life, remember? This little gem helps out a lot when you can tap it multiple times per turn.

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3 x Nissa’s Renewal

Another old favorite. Drop three lands and gain seven life all at once. Yes please.

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2 x Reverse Engineer

I said card drawing is important, right? In actuality I’m still tweaking this deck. One of the changes I’m considering is upping the number of these to three or even four. We’ll see. Right now there’s only room for two.

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3 x Commit/Memory

Counter magic is dirty and blue cheesey, but this baby combines a counterspell with a removal spell and a Timetwister. Not too shabby…

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3 x Hedron Archive

Tapping an artifact for two mana is nice… tapping it repeatedly for two mana is insane. Get ready to do some crazy tapping… also if you really need to, you can sac it for a couple of cards.

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2 x Paradox Engine

This is the real engine that makes this engine run. Why are there only two of them? Look at it. It’s legendary. You can never have more than one in play at the same time. And even if you could, what would be the point? You can’t untap your pyramids, River Shrines, and Hedron Archives more than once for each spell you play. That would be crazy.

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8 x Forest

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16 x Island

You may notice that there are no multilands in this deck. I need all the Islands I can have for Engulf the Shore, that’s why. I don’t even like having to run forests. That’s one of the things that might change. I’ll keep you updated.

Making a Little (More) Magic

Here he goes again, writing about that god dammed game! Well, yes. If you don’t like it you don’t have to read. The truth is, Magic has taken over my life again recently. I still suck at it, but that’s okay since it is still fun. Magic Duels (which I talked extensively about last time) wasn’t quite doing it for me anymore, so I broke down and reloaded Magic Online to my computer and made an amazing discovery: Vintage Cube is the best format to play! A format where you can draft a bomb like Primeval Titan right along with Black Lotus or Timetwister? Yes, please.

2017-06-28 It’s AWESOME!Have you ever wanted to play an opening hand like Black Lotus, Mox Jet, Sol Ring, Channel, Mind Twist? Well, it’s not guaranteed, but in this format it is possible. Granted, the cards they’re using here are “phantom” cards (meaning that after the draft they are not added to your collection), but maybe you didn’t hear me, Black Fucking Lotus is in the collection. So are all the Moxes, Time Walk, Ancestral Recall, Timetwister, all the Power Nine, along with other vastly overpowered cards from Magic;s history. Of course, I played, excited to get to cast Timetwister in a real game, only to die horribly the next turn by a multi-storm Tendrils of Agony. That’s okay though. I got to play Timetwister. I got to Dark Ritual into a Hypnotic Specter on turn one. I also plunked down Braids, Cabal Minion when my opponent had nothing but land in play. Good times.

2017-06-29 (3)Is it really that awesome? Yes, yes it is. Of course, the real beauty is in seeing your opponents come up with strategies that you never thought of. I just played a guy who had the grooviest combo going with Survival of the Fittest (a green enchantment that lets you discard a creature to search for another) and Recurring Nightmare (a black spell that plays creatures from your graveyard). After way too many turns of him recurring his dudes again and again, I gave up. But, it was a learning experience.

So now I’m all about Magic again. I’ve even vowed to teach the game to Lisa, something I’ve been promising to do for a long time, Well this week I bought two copies of the Amonkhet Deck Builder’s Toolkit with the express intention of doing just that. Yup, Real physical cards are once again in my possession,

download (27)Maybe now I’ll go play Friday Night Magic?

Fuzzy LumpkinEven Fuzzy is getting into Magic, Sure, if you know the game at all you’re probably saying that Scry? Investigate? Aren’t those primarily Blue abilities? Of course they are, but they’re also the perfect abilities for a Jedi Detective like Fuzzy, And he’s green. Deal with it.



Make a Little Magic Before the Night is Through

Here he goes again, talkin’ more about that Magic game. Well, it’s just so damn fun! It’s also what I do these days. So, naturally, I’m going to go over my latest deck.


2 x Pyramid of the Pantheon

Sure it takes a few turns to really get going, but this little mana maker is just awesome. After three turns doing the brick counter thing, it turns into a reusable Black Lotus, enabling some ungodly plays far earlier than they should be possible.


2 x Anointed Procession

As you’ll see, this deck makes a lot of token creatures. Anointed Procession allows it to make a lot more.

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3 x Start/Finish

Start makes two little token creatures. Unless Anointed Procession is in play. Then it makes four. If there are two Anointed Processions, well that’s eight. That’s a lot of little buggers pretty fast. The flipside of Start is Finish, a groovy little removal spell.


3 x Fleshbag Marauder

This guy owns. As soon as he hits the battlefield, opponent’s creature goes buh bye. He’s usually more of a removal spell then a creature, often being sacrificed to his own ability… in this deck though, token creatures usually do that instead.


3 x Stir the Sands

Zombie tokens are really what this deck is about. This baby makes three… six… twelve? of them.


2 x Anguished Unmaking

Pay a little life and that annoying enchantment goes away forever. Or that great big creature. As long as it’s not a land, this can take care of it for three little mana an d three life.


1 x Sorin, Grim Nemesis

I am a member of the Sorin Markov fan club. Well, I’m not but I would be, I’ve got a huge man crush on Sorin because Sorin is just plain awesome and I want to have his babies.


1 x Liliana, Death’s Majesty

What? A second planeswalker? I’ve actually had a change of heart concerning planeswalkler centric decks since I last wrote about them. If you can’t beat them, join them I guess. Besides, look at what she does. Shecan pop out a zombie (or two… or four) every turn. or she can pull a critter out of the graveyard and if she really needs to she can kill everything except the zombies. Huzzah!


2 x Languish

It’s a panic button of sorts. Sure, it kills my creatures too, but I can just make more. -4/-4 for everyone else.


2 x Liliana’s Mastery

The picture is a little blurry, so let me explain. This enchantment creates two 2/2 zombie tokens. It also gives all my zombies +1/+1. Combine that with Liliana who has been pumping out zombies for the last eight turns and we’ve got an army of the undead on our hands.

So there ya go, that’s my latest deck and it still doesn’t run ten plus planeswalkers.


This Magic Moment

Yup, you guessed it… I’m still talking about Magic Duels. I can’t help it, the game is just too damn fun. Well if I get an opponent who isn’t using a deck with some twenty plus planeswalker spells it is. Those guys are just annoying. Actually the game is fun even if I do run into them. It just turns into a game of how long can I drag this game out to really piss them off? As it turns out, a pretty long time. Here’s how I do it.


2 Renegade Map

This is a seemingly innocent little card. It serves one purpose in this deck, which will become clear later. Also, in a pinch, it can fetch a land for me, but it almost never does that.


4 Fog

We talked about this one last time. Played at the right time, my opponent’s rampaging hordes do no damage. Charge at me with that Raging Goblin! I laugh in his goblin face! Ha ha!


3 Commencement of Festivities

4 Fogs is good, 7 is even better. Why not eight? I had to fit something else in. With sixty total slots and 24 of them occupied by lands, there’s only so much room. It’s okay, I almost always have one when I need it.


2 Displacement Wave

Sometimes you just need to clear things up to buy yourself some breathing room. This baby does that nicely. It’s nice that my biggest threats are like 8 mana and I rarely have to displace for more than six.


1 Nissa, Steward of Elements

I know I just complained about people who use lots of planeswalkers, but I can use two, can’t I? Besides this version of Nissa is the shit if you have the mana to make her awesome. I usually do.


2 Retreat to Kazanadu

This thing really ramps up your life total if you get it in play early enough. And it really gets crazy if you can play both of them. I’ve found myself at 40 plus life by turn six. Late game there are usually less lands coming in because this deck plays most of them pretty fast. Making a wurm go from 5/5 to 6/6 or 7/7 is always pretty nice though.

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3 Geitblast

Wait… a red card? But why? Two damage is often enough to get rid of pesky creatures, but the card’s graveyard ability is why we want it here. Copying a Part the Waterveil or Nissa’s Renewal is invaluable and loads of fun.

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2 Altered Ego

One of two main win conditions in the deck, the only actual creature it runs is the shapeshifting Altered Ego. More than once I’ve copied my opponent’s cheated out Eldrazi (Ulamog the Ceaseless Hunger) and put a shitload of +1/=1 counters on it.

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1 Trial of Knowledge

Drawing three cards for four mana is always nice, even if you have to discard one of them. The deck has no cartouches, so you won’t be popping it back up to use it again, unless it’s out when you cast Displacement Wave.

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3 Glimmer of Genius

Drawing cards is always good. Scrying first is better. Doing it at instant speed is great.

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4 Explosive Vegetation

Extra land starts coming in to play fast. Coupled with Retreat to Kazanadu, one means four or even eight life. It’s very helpful.


2 Pore Over the Pages

I said earlier that drawing cards is always good. Doing it for five mana is nicer, and untapping two of those afterward is even better.


2 Shrewd Negotiation

Remember that cheap land fetching artifact, Renegade Map? This is what I like to do with it. I’ll gladly trade it for your Ulamog. With my Altered Ego copy, I’ll have two. Well I would if not for the legend rule.


1 Jace, Unraveler of Secrets

Another planeswalker!? Yes. I did say I used two. Jace is good for an extra draw or to bounce an opponent’s critter as necessary. Also if you can build him up enough, his ultimate ability is nothing to sneeze at.


1 Part the Waterveil

Taking an extra turn after this one is always good, and when you can copy it once or more with a graveyard Geitblast makes it that much nicer. I usually win by the time I take the second extra turn.


2 Nissa’s Renewal

Six mana means three lands and seven life. If you can copy it with a Geitblast or have a Retreat to Kazanadu or two when it is played is always nice.


2 Sandwurm Convergance

My other win condition, Even if my opponent gets rid of the first couple wurms, this makes a 5/5 at the end of every turn. This mammoth card costs eight mana to cast, in this deck I usually have that by turn six or seven.

24 Lands

Every deck needs them, and you can’t play without them. This deck includes eight Forests, Eight Islands, two Hinterland Harbour, and two Lumbering Falls, the blue/green man land.

So that’s the deck I’ve been playing with the most. Let’s get into a game.