So I received (finally) my request to take a drug screen test for my new job the other day and I couldn’t be more excited about that. I makes the whole process seem that much more real to me. I’m getting out of this god-forsaken shithole that I work in now. Good riddance. I actually did give the place I’m at now notice that I would be leaving, just over two weeks’ worth, actually. I made my final day September 23 of this year and I might actually make it, although I have been experiencing the temptation to shove my badge and headset in the boss’ face and tell them exactly what they can do with their crap-ass slave wage job. So far I haven’t done that. I’ll let you know whether I make it to the 23rd or not. I do have my doubts.
In any case, the fact that the new place had me drug test is of no concern and actually causes much jubilation on my part. Previously, it was just a voice on the telephone telling me I got the job that let me know, well, I got the job. Just a voice. A phantom. Anything could still happen to take it away from me and it might not have been “real.” After all, it could have just been someone playing a cruel joke, right?
The process of actually completing the drug test was nowhere near as simple as it usually is or, arguably, should have been. A representative from the company sent me an email with the sublect line IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR DRUG TEST – and the contents of the email were, unsuprisingly, important information about the drug screen process. It included things like the location of the lab, a link to find another location if I needed to, a phone number to confirm the lab’s collection hours and such. What it did not include was a printible order form or requisition for the test itself. I found this to be very odd. Every time I’ve ever been sent for a pee pee test they give me some kind of paperwork for the lab. I contacted the rep from my new employer and she assured me there was no form necessary. So i went to the lab and immediately got chewed out for not having a form by the woman who seemed to be in charge of the place (we’ll call her Cunty McCuntenstein). she read me the riot act, all because I dared to do what the employer told me and show up without a printout of any kind. Maybe something heavy will drop on her.
Anyway, it took a little while, but the situation was resolved and I got to deposit mine and go about my business. Now I just have to pass the test. I hope I studied hard enough. Actually, that should not be a problem as I have not used anythin more ilicit than vodka in at least the past year… probably closer to two. I’m a party animal.
So I’m just that much closer to breaking free from this torturous position and working once again at a real job. i couldn’t be happier. Now, if this current place would just do me a favor and burn to the ground or something…