You’ve Got Some Things to Answer For, Lord

imagesSo I’ve written before about my atheism. It’s true, I just don,t believe in a god. I don’t think he created us, and I certainly don’t believe he gave his only begotten son so that whosoever believeth in him shall have everlasting life. Why do I not believe this? Simple… there is no proof. But, what if there was? What if tomorrow, God showed up and turned the Great Lakes into wine and said, “Sorry for the delay and all the unsuredness… here I am.” Would I believe then? I suppose I’d have to. I mean, he’s right there. Would I fall down and worship him? I think not. We’d have to have a pretty deep discussion.

“So, God,” I’d say, “Good to see ya. Tell me what’s with the bone cancer in children?” Maybe at that point he’d try to give me some bullshit about “free will” or some such nonsense and I’d remind him that he could have created a world where children didn’t ever get cancer without affecting free will at all.

“It’s to teach their parents how to love me,” he’d stammer.

“Isn’t that a pretty fucked up way to do that?”

“Whatever. I’m God. Deal with it.”

“Okay, fair enough, I guess. Tell me, is the Holy Bible really the unaltered Word of God?”

“Yes it is,” he says proudly. “Every word of it is the God’s honest truth.”

download (22)“So that time you got all pissed at everyone and decided to flood the place, that really happened?”

“Yes.”

So you wiped out everyone because a few people were ‘wicked?'”

“Everyone, save Noah and his family, were evil.”

“So everyone had to die? And all the animal and plant life too?”

“I saved the animals.”

“Not all of them.”

“Look, these questions are starting to piss me off.”

I imagine it would go something like that. Let’s face it, if the God of the Bible does exist, he’s not worthy of our worship. He’s a total monster. I haven’t even brought up the part of the Bible where he orders Moses to kill all the… Amalekites, even the suckling babies. Nor have I asked him why, if we were able to figure out that slavery was wrong, why couldn’t he? Why is rape not included in the ten commandments? Why are bats listed among the unclean birds in Leviticus? Bats aren’t birds at all.

Nope, I just don’t buy it.

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